Ode to my friend

This is a little blog ode to my friend Nicola.

I'm extremely lucky in that I am surrounded by amazing friends, friends who make me laugh so much I almost wee myself and friends who I can share my biggest secrets with, friend who I have the greatest nights out with and those who I can just sit in with and eat lots of goodies.

Then there's Nicola, growing up I never had any intention of having a CF friend. I met a boy when I was 9 in hospital who I befriended. He was older than me and he was also a Cf'r. I found out about two years later that he died. And even though I only spent two weeks as his friend I did feel a big loss. It was my first instance of CF loss.

Then many years later I seen a post on the CF boards, a girl who seemed to be giving up, her friends from school had begun to forget about her as she wasn't able to keep up with their social lives. I ended up contacting her and willing her not to stop treatments, I knew how she felt, the only difference is that I still had my girls around my for support.

We began talking on msn regularly or really many times a day, and having someone who knew exactly how I was feeling and what I was going through was amazing. But it wasn't only that, this girl was lovely, caring and although we didn't have a lot in common, ie she loved west life, I loved RnB but we could talk away for hours.

After months we decided to meet up, we knew it was frowned upon in the Cf community due to cross infection but we knew we both cultured Pseudomonas and we felt even if we only met once it would be worth it to see if we were as close in person as we were talking online.

So we met and the rest is history, Nicola has became the bestest friend I could ever ask for, she has always been a text away and when we were both well it was great to meet up, to go to gigs together and to go out and dance the night away.

Things have carried on for years now and both our health declined, however, I'm sure Nicola will also state I seemed to be the more robust one. SO when transplant was mentioned to me first I was a bit surprised, I knew things were not good but I still thought I had enough in me to last a while longer.

But our nights of dancing away had begun seat dancing and after my lung collapses I was put onto oxygen.

Being put on the tx list showed me even more how amazing my friend was, she knew all the answers for me, as I often shut down when medical jargon is being talked about with docs. I knew when I was ready I could talk to Nicola and she would inform me of the answers to my questions.

Nicolas health took a hit and then I got my tx. One of my first thoughts of my friends was Nicola, how would she feel now I had been given a new opportunity?? I worried so much that o9ur friendship would suffer, I knew she wouldn't feel jealous on purpose but that maybe it wouldn't be helped.

I became wary of the info I gave Nicola from my recoup bed in Newcastle. Then one day I wrote to her saying I didn't want to rub it in. She responded telling me that she was unsure how she would react when I got my tx but that she was so truly happy for me.

I didn't need to hear anymore, I knew I had the greatest friend. . . .

Things are hard for Nicola at the moment and I just want her to know I will always be here for her, the three months post tx when I couldn't meet her were really hard, I missed her laughing and our random chats.

One day Nicola will feel what its like to breath easy and I cant wait to share this new experience with her.

Love you loads honey

Kirsty xx