Nicola enters my life every day, be it a song, be it a picture, be it a cartoon I see or summit that I know she would love there isn't a day that goes by or probably a couple of hours that go by without thinking of my friend.
I'm not going to say I'm doing this for the both of us cos if I had one ounce of her strength I would probably be travelling the world by now, but I do feel I owe her so very much and I know that she is watching sometimes.
The other week I was looking through my favourite pictures of her to give a copy to her mum. I sat in my living room and got rather upset looking at them whilst listening to some music and then I got nervous about seeing her mum- dont ask me why I think its because it had been a while but then from nowhere a little pink globe I have on my tv which contains a fairy and glitter went off. It's a wind up music thing but never ever has it gone off and it did for about 3 seconds. I looked up from the computer and I smiled and said "Thankyou".
I dont think you realise how much someone is in your life until they are gone. Nicola and I only seen each other about once a week or once a fortnight but we spoke in texts every single day, just a littl hello, a little are you feeling shit today too?, a little bitch at something on tv. But I got through my worst days with this friendship.
She is so very missed. . . . . . . . but they say life goes on and it is.
I'm back at college, makeup artistry is going great. Have already taken part in three fashion shows, one being for the Rainbow Room, have been doing makeup on an up and coming star called Carrie Mac and hopefully going to get a gig working on Calamity Jane in the Kings theatre.
We're also arranging this amazing ball, Victoria, Jac and I and I am really excited as it's only a few weeks away. Between that and I have the LLTGL advocate weekend with Jac and all my fellow amazing LLTGL advocates for a team building and a 'getting to know you' King and I stylee time. Also I have Karen(one of my oldest and dearest friends) hen night then wedding to think of. Then my birthday and transplantversary.
I am a busy girl and really should get more organised.
Inbetween I have been colouring my hair lots and now am bleach blonde. Unfort my hair got really thin 9 months post transplant, and I cutt it all off. It didnt grow in any thicker so me being the exhibitionist that I am I decided to colour it up.
Lastly today I was at clinic and it's been the best one yet, I have a cold at the moment. But my lung function is now at 95% and my Xray is clean as a whistle. Best clinic appointment yet.
Today is a good day, I wish I could have shared it with her xxx
I loved the globe story - I am sure she was right there beside you. I know what you mean about wanting to share things - it took me a long time after I lost Fran to stop thinking 'oh must phone and tell Fran that one' and sometimes I still do. However I did come to realise she was there beside me all along, enjoying the joke. So now I can smile to myself and know she is smiling too. Nicola will always be with you xx
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